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About the book

The book explains [Adlerian psychology](https://www.alfredadler.edu/about/alfred-adler-theory-application/#:~:text=Adlerian theory and practice have,%2C growth%2C and change occur.) through a dialogue between a young person and a philosopher. Adlerian psychology advocates for taking control of your life and owning your conscious and subconscious interpersonal goals, irrespective of the circumstances around you. The concepts in the book have much in common with the values in the Indian philosophies.

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Quotes

At some stage in your life, you chose ‘being unhappy’. It is not because you were born into unhappy circumstances or ended up in an unhappy situation. It’s that you judged ‘being unhappy’ to be good for you.

Concepts that I liked from the book

• Experiences don’t have any inherent meaning - We assign meaning to experiences based on our conscious or subconscious goals. It also means that we have the power to mindfully choose the meaning that we want to ascribe to any experience.
• Anger is fabricated (so are many other emotions in many other circumstances) - We choose anger as a communication tool among the many options of communicating because we want the other person to submit to us quickly.
• We choose to be unhappy because it serves a purpose.
• Tasks and life-lies - Concerning yourself with the controllable aspects in your life, or facing your life tasks as described in the book, is how one can prioritise self-judgement over judgement from others. The tasks in life pertain to tasks of work, tasks of love and tasks of friendship. If one comes up with excuses of not being able to do justice to any task, most likely it is an excuse to avoid facing the task or failing at it. These are called life lies in the book.
• Sincere contribution to others is the essence of work and relationships. We feel worthy when we make these contributions in the society.

Criticisms

• The language is blunt, disconnected and hard to read.
• The explanations are quite simplistic. This could be a feature and not a bug. You end up arguing with the book every time and consequently, end up discovering the nuances of the theory yourself.
• The book assumes that one’s internal value systems are perfect and outside influence on these should not matter. If misinterpreted, this can leave the wrong message.
• The book fails to deliver the point that to achieve the ideals presented in the book, one will have to slowly and persistently work upon oneself.